


there's something wrong up here

by thingswelostinthefire



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Gen, Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 20:39:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7860292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thingswelostinthefire/pseuds/thingswelostinthefire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It still hurts every time Tyler breaks a promise to himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	there's something wrong up here

**Author's Note:**

> WHY DO I LOVE TYLER JOSEPH SO MUCH. Sorry this is such a mess.
> 
> Title from Stratosphere by MUTEMATH.

Tyler sits down in front of his laptop, pulling up an empty page on Microsoft Word.

He used to write with a pencil and paper, the old-fashioned way, but typing is easier. Quicker. Nothing will ever be fast enough to keep up with Tyler’s thoughts, but at least this way, when he goes to read over his lyrics, he won’t have to worry about struggling through his own atrocious handwriting. Plus, he uses a specific font every time he writes, and he likes the way it looks. And he likes the feeling he gets when minutes pass by and he’s already filled up a page with his words – words that actually sound good to him. Words that don’t make him cringe and yell from frustration. It's one of the only times he ever really feels proud of himself.

It’s hard for Tyler to be without his best friend. They had just gotten home after spending two-and-a-half months together – sometimes he wonders how they never get tired of each other – but Tyler still holds a little resentment for Josh. He has since Josh moved to Los Angeles. He knows why he did it, and Tyler’s even thought about doing the same himself – not the moving-to-California part, because that would be called stalking, and Tyler might be clingy sometimes but he wouldn’t follow Josh across the country. Really – but it’s still really hard.

So, naturally, because Tyler is a writer, he writes about Josh.

The lyrics he writes are clearly about Josh. It’s kind of pathetic. Tyler’s not a very straightforward kind of guy – he tries not to be, at least, because anonymity is cool and he loves fucking with the fans – but the lyrics are so painfully obvious. It’s not even like Tyler hasn’t written about Josh before. Lyrics from half the songs on Blurryface are about him, but Tyler will still smile and shrug upon someone, usually a fan, bringing it up, because he _likes_ being vague.

It still hurts, though, every time Tyler breaks a promise to himself. He swore to himself years ago that he would _never_ write about another human again, because people suck. People are temporary and unreliable and they just suck, and Tyler seriously wants to yell at himself every time his brain tries to slot Josh into that long list of people who have left him, because the thing is, after years of dealing with Tyler – years of relapses and panic attacks and three AM phone calls and midnight runs to Denny’s because Tyler likes pancakes when he can’t sleep – Josh _hasn’t_ left. Tyler isn’t sure if he hates that or loves it.

He’s honestly just mad at himself for ever feeling worthy of Josh’s love at all.


End file.
